EVERYTHING FOR YOU
[In a time of yearning]
All I really pray is that when you look down from heaven, you see a heart that longs to glorify you in every single thing — my thoughts, my desires, when I’m driving, when I’m present with family, when I’m working, when I’m doing pottery. Whatever it may be. May you look down on the earth and see there is indeed a small and meek girl in Orange County with a heart that is yearning to give you glory in all things… Who is yearning to pour her love before you day and night… Who hungers and thirsts for your nearness… Who knows that intimacy with you is the only aim in this life. She wants nothing less than those things, and she is coming to believe more and more each day that there is no greater purpose or satisfaction than such things. To pursue anything less or apart from you is foolish.
All my life is yours Lord, use it for your glory. Use the joys, use the pains. Use the waiting, use the breakthrough. Use the weakness, use the strength. Use it all Jesus. It is all yours. If there surely is an end to everything in life, I only wish to do it all for you so there is eternal purpose even in what is fleeting and temporary.
I want to learn what it means to love you more… Teach me what that looks like. Show me your love languages. In Scripture, would I see the patterns in which love from man was a pleasing fragrance and sacrifice to you. I want to know how you receive love. I want to know what you prefer. I want to know the love that moves your heart. I want to know how to catch your gaze. And in that place, would there also be an increased capacity in my heart to love every person you call me to. Would it be so natural what flows out of my heart towards others simply because of what I’ve learned, inherited, and gained in the secret place and in relationship with you.
Continually show me how to give thanks in every circumstance; How to look at you and say “Lord, you are good and your kindness towards me is vast” no matter what I am going through; How to remain in the fullness of your love and believe its surpassing greatness regardless of what is before me. All because you are worthy of my everything. Every piece of my story and my life up to this point belongs to you. I desire to be filled with gratitude for the lot that I’ve been given — Whatever circumstances make me the most expendable for Christ, whether it is in weakness, pain, heartache, solitude… Let it be. May I rejoice in being all-expendable and all-available for you, knowing that you are glorifying yourself through me.
Trust in the Lord and do good;
Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring out your righteousness as the light,
And your judgment as the noonday.Psalm 37:3-6