WHEN GRIEF MEETS ETERNITY
I am 24. Grieving the loss of a family member for the first time at a relatively older age is humbling. Growing up, you see friends lose their grandparents and loved ones here and there, but I realize now that I could never fully understand loss until walking through it myself.
This experience has been entirely binary for me:
Everything is heavy — You can’t unsee the weakness in their eyes. You can’t un-hear the pain in their incomprehensible discourse… Assuming their groaning meant “I love you”. The final goodbye and dreadful walk out of the dimly lit ICU constantly replays in your head. Tears and blank stares at the tiled floor cannot express the weight and array of emotions that press down on your heart until you resort to…
Avoiding any pathway that even inches toward accepting the new absence — You sleep for 12 hours straight, even though you’ve had insomnia and trouble sleeping all your life. You desperately reach for any way to fill your schedule or thought space to hide from the confusion of the reality ahead or the guilt of not having done enough.
This is the haze of grief, yet this is also where the gift of Jesus and salvation find me this morning. The promise of eternity after this life for those who believe in the Son… Touches my heart in the newest and sweetest way possible. Sinful, broken, and depraved, I could have never earned it, but this free gift of God through Jesus Christ is my hope. The promise of eternity eliminates the painful goodbye’s on this earth. It restores joy in all things in this life… Every single thing. What gift of grace is this? How much more does that affirm that He really does makes all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purposes according to Christ; Not just in loss, but in all trial and hardship we come face to face with in every season.
It makes grief and sorrow a little more approachable — Things that Jesus was well acquainted with… Most certainly well enough to mourn with me and let me feel every emotion that comes in this process. What if this is an invitation to know His heart in a deeper way? It’s not easy, but if eternity is knowing Jesus, why escape into or settle for anything less? And if it is in Jesus that promised joy and victory exist abundantly, why search for them elsewhere where it cannot be found?
“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:14-16